Michael (spudpuppy) wrote,

"I gave him my $56, but he didn't give me his naked body"

I had just barely got home Thursday evening, when there was a knock at the door. I hadn't even set my backpack down yet. So I ran to the door to see who it was, thinking it was probably the mail lady with a package. Instead, it was a cute young guy, wanting to tell me all the wonderful things the National Career Awards competition does for youth like him.

He asked if four fat, ugly girls that smelled like stinky cheese had already been by, since he was in fifth place behind them. And that if he won, he'd be going to Italy to find out about his ancestry. By this time, Lynn had come down also and was listening to the kid's spiel. He asked if he could step in out of the heat.

He told us, he'd spent the morning, in his words, in his skivvies, washing some old broad's car. We found out, he is 20 years old and from Springfield, Massachusetts. That he is in the area, staying with his sister, the lesbian. That he broke his leg, when he popped a wheelie on his motorcycle at 128 MPH, while his dad was following him, on his Harley.

He asked if he could smoke. And could he have a glass of water. Apparently, while I was getting his water, he informed Lynn that he had used Ecstasy a few times and also poppers, and really liked them both. So Lynn retrieved a bottle of poppers from his bedroom, for the kid to take a couple of hits. But he'd never used poppers during sex, but that was another story he wasn't willing to relay.

He finally got around to the fact that he was selling magazines, and even if neither of us wanted a subscription, we could always buy one and donate it to one of the hospitals on his list. Then it would be a charitable contribution.

I finally agreed. As he was filling out the order form, he asked for my email address. When I asked him why, he said so he could forward all the fun emails he gets. Like the one he got from his dad a couple of days ago, of a picture of some girls hoochie with a tatoo of Homer Simpson on it. I declined. Now, if he had offered to send me nude pics of himself, I might have reconsidered.

So after 30 minutes, I gave him my $56, but he didn't give me his naked body. And he was on to the next house. Oh well. :(

Yesterday was a fairly laid back day. I got up around 10:00, for a couple of hours, but then when back and laid down, since Lynn wasn't up yet. I ended up getting back up around 4:00, when we both showered and went down to the Plaza to walk Baby. Came home and watched Footballer's Wives and Mile High, before crashing for the night.
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