"Honestly officer, I wasn't driving carelessly. I was distracted by the cute, half naked mower boys on the side of the road."
And a point of etiquette, when you're sitting in a parking lot, and a really cute guy pulls in next to you. He has a huge, jiggling bulge in his slinky shorts when he jumps out of his truck. It is proper to grope him, when he practically sticks his bulge in your window, right?
I really think I need to get laid.