Anyway, I was pondering past experiences/possible missed opportunities, this morning, as I was driving into work. Yeah, one of those who drives on auto pilot, while the brain is somewhere else.
Like the time, when I was on vacation in Colorado. What would have happened if I'd actually picked up that really cute hitchhiker. Young, blond, college age, built just right. Standing on the side of the highway in just a t-shirt and pair of really short shorts. I just wasn't able to stop in time. And then figured it was probably for the best, anyway. But was it?
And then, there was the guy in college, who came on really strong, to a young naive boy, demanding my phone number. And I was so shy, closeted and scared, I gave him a fake number. Later, I decided I was stupid, but he refused to ever talk to me again.
Or the cute blond, who was cutting down tree limbs, around power lines, for the summer, back when I was in high school. He and his crew spent a week in my neighborhood. He was so cute, sitting in the shade, with his shirt off, eating his lunch. He couldn't have been much older then me. I would sit in my bedroom window and stair at him. I don't know if he saw me, or not, but the last day they were there, I was outside, and he came over and said hi. He had a big smile on his face. Was he just being friendly? Again, I was scared, and in a hurry to go somewhere, so I said hi and bye and took off.
All the times I was scared to pursue what might be. How would things be now, if I had? Was that kid, on the Colorado highway, Mr. Right? Or the boy from college, who was the son and heir to a local, major produce distributor? Or even, that beautiful sculpted blond boy, who looked like a Norse God.
I guess reflection on what might have been is an indication of getting old. Looking at the life we've led. Thinking about the possibilities lost. Questioning the decisions we made. Would that life have been better or worse. Or is the basic outcome of our lives predestined. Yes, the players in the game, may have been different, but the final score would have been the same.